yash's journal

I hope it is with someone who never looks at you and wonders if leaving would be easier. someone who doesn't let a bad season erase all the good things you've built together.  because you know how it's like to be loved by someone who once promised forever, only to become the very person who let you go. you know what it's like to sit with a broken heart, replaying every moment and conversation in your head, wondering how someone who once held you so gently could walk away while you were trying to hold on. and maybe that's why losing them hurt so much the way it did (and still does).  it hurts even more to imagine that when life gets hard, they decided that you were something they could live without. so when love finds you again, I don't pray for a love story that never struggles. I don't pray for someone who could love you more than you've ever been loved, or someone who will never hurts you. I pray for someone who chooses to stay anyway, despite the inev...

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haloo! gimana kabarmu? sehat? gimana beberapa hari pertama 2026? apakah sejauh ini lebih mudah dilewati dibanding dua tahun terakhir? hari ini kita ngobrol sebentar, yuk. sejujurnya, menulis catatan akhir tahun rasanya sulit sekali terutama dua tahun terakhir ini. hehe. bingung mau mulai dari mana, ya? rasanya kayak.. terlalu banyak dan besar untuk diproses?  bohong kalau kamu bilang nggak berat. montang-manting jujur. tapi kok yo suprisingly, you survived. nah karena catatan-catatanmu yang lain sudah membahasnya sepotong demi sepotong tiap kejadiannya, mari sekarang kita coba sederhanakan sedikit secara umum agar lebih mudah dicerna. kita coba pilih satu kata ya. grief. duka. rasanya dua taun terakhir ini kamu berduka berkali-kali, ya? tiga kali, setidaknya. dan meskipun sudah mengalaminya di awal, ternyata duka-duka berikutnya pun nggak kemudian jadi lebih mudah. masih tetap berat dan menyakitkan. kamu jadi belajar bahwa grief nggak selalu tentang kehilangan orang yang p...